we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
