he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Terrible idea I love it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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