Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
