Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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