Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
