I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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