Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
