you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The feeling are messing with the penis
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
