My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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