have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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