i think my tv is drunk
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
