I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
