Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
