Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So vagazzling was a success
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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