That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
