Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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