i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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