Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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