So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
