addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
