This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Randomize
