Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
