Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
