Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
