You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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