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i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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