i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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