At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
