Only a mothe r could love this liver
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
