But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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