Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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