If that was your dad, he is hot
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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