she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
