u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I had to cum in my sink.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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