A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
