'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
