What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
