During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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