well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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