I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
