I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
