69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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