We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
