Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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