1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
