I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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