What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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