Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
so much tequila, so little girl.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
