I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Randomize
