you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
