I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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