If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
