I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize