I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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