Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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