I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
