That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize