I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
