I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
