Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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