Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
