I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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