so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize