you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
