Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
